Loving your Wife at Work

In my career as an airline pilot few things have bugged me more than some philandering crew members who only have line of site loyalty.

How have you interpreted "the husband is head of the wife" in your own marriage (Eph 5:22)?

Here is the guts of it from God: "you answer to me for how you treat the wife I gave you." This makes perfect sense in the context of "husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church"... ie: to the same extent and to the same degree... laying down your life, your resources and your sensual attractions for the one you are called to love... right through to death.

With this in mind we can understand the instruction that follows: "the wife must respect her husband" - ie: the wife must respect the God fearing role and responsibility given to her husband.

So guys, let's be committed to this when at work or away from home... because we will answer to God for how we look after the wife he has given us!

And who is this woman?

By the time God made woman, he was into his sixth day of work. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on his one?"

God answered, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and have one pair of hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements. "One pair of hands! No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish'

"But I can't, I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days"

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft." "She is soft," God agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish." "Will she be able to think?", asked the angel. God replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one." "That's not a leak, that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked. God said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed. "Your woman is truly amazing." And she is...

Women have strengths that are amazing. They bear hardships and carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so that their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can help to heal a broken heart.

Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or email you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning! They bring joy and hope. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give. Remind them how amazing they are; because if there's one flaw in women, it is that they tend to forget about themselves!

Husbands, you are responsible to God to make your wife the best person she can be. Enjoy.

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Persecuted in Egypt - "Michael"

"I was born in 1956 into a religious Muslim family in Egypt . Although I performed all the duties of a pious Muslim and even made the pilgrimage to Mecca , 'I still felt no peace.

When I was 24, a Christian invited me to his home on Christmas Eve. We had a lively discussion about the differences between Islam and Christianity. For me, it was only natural that I had to seek God, and now I was told that God sought me. I had always perceived God as a condemning judge. Now I learned I could be certain of God's forgiving love. But still I did not understand how this Christian could call Jesus "Son of God". Because I wanted to know what other kinds of erroneous things these "infidels" believed, I borrowed a book from him entitled The Way of Salvation. I locked myself in at home and began reading it in secret, washing my hands before reading as I did before reading the Qur'an, according to the prescribed Islamic rituals. In the course of some months I found my way to Jesus simply by reading the Bible. I no longer needed the ritual washings because I experienced the power of the Holy Spirit as inner purity in my life.

My relatives and friends swore at me and rejected me. In 1981 I was arrested by the secret police at my job in a hotel and held for nine months in solitary confinement in a military prison. My cell was only one, square metre, and every night water was poured on the floor so that I could not even lie down. I was prevented from sleeping by a dazzling light. I was beaten, burned, and my fin­gernails were ripped out.

My father visited and offered me money to return to Islam. When I refused he disowned me, disinherited me, and symbolically buried me in an empty coffin with my name on it.

Islamic clergy came and tried to persuade me to return to Islam by simply repeating the Islamic creed. After three fruitless visits from them, I was declared insane and sent to a psychiatric clinic, where I was given electric shocks to my spine, which result­ed in permanent damage.

Because the Egyptian constitution states that Islam is the state religion and that Islamic jurisprudence is the principal source of legislation, my property and my inheritance were taken away from me in closed court proceedings. My case then went from the civil court to the Mufti, the highest religious court. Here it was ruled that I must leave Dar al-Islam [the house of Islam i.e. territory where Muslims are in control] because as long as I remained any Muslim had the right to kill me.

My case was made public and I did not know where to go. Every Christian group and church I turned to was afraid to help me because they risked becoming a target themselves of Islamic extremist groups. I lived in hiding for some time, and was baptized in early 1983.

I managed to contact my fiancée and within a few weeks she also had become a Christian and was secretly baptized.

On our way back from her baptism, three men from an extremist group ambushed and shot at us. I was unhurt but my fiancée was killed right there on the street. The gunmen escaped and I was arrested as a suspect and imprisoned for two months until forensics proved that I had not done the shooting. While in prison I held on to the promise: "Fear not ... I have summoned you by name; you are mine." (Isaiah 43:1)

Eventually, completely exhausted, I was able to find safety in a desert monastery, where I could slowly recover physically and emotionally. An anonymous donor sent me an airline ticket and a European visa. I knew that departing from Cairo airport was dangerous, as my name was bound to have been "blacklisted" : But there was no alternative. Trusting in God's help, I joined the queue at passport control.

Just before I reached the desk, the computer crashed. In the ensuing chaos nothing on the database could be checked, but only the documents that each person was carrying. Mine were in order and I boarded the plane.

Since then I have lived in Europe , and it is these words of Jesus that keep me going even here today: "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appoint­ed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last." (John 15:16)."

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What is the world coming to when a senior Opposition MP takes time out from abusing the Government to write a book about relationships? The book is Crowded Lives, by the Australian Opposition's telecommunications spokesman, Lindsay Tanner. It's an easy 110 pages and is published by Pluto Press...

Tanner argues that, by now, our crowded lives are gradually shredding our relationships with each other.

Much of the stuff we buy - microwaves, fast food, for instance - is intended to save time. But, Tanner says, we're on a treadmill that's always imperceptibly gaining speed.

"To buy all these things that save time we have to work more. We've created a vicious circle of time consumption, where the cost is borne by our relationships. We spend less time with our families and friends in order to earn the money, which will enable us to buy things like microwave ovens, which will eliminate the need to do certain things together."

How has this unsatisfactory state of our relationships come about? Through neglect. Tanner says that, since the industrial revolution, it's the material aspects of human relationships - economics, in other words - that have dominated politics in the developed countries. Governments and political parties have largely ignored relationship issues...

Click here for full article.

Jesus replied:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind'. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself'. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments (Matt 22:37).

Agape love: unconditional goodwill for another person.

Is this our relationship driver?
Home - work - sport - church - club - what's cooking inside right now?

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Era of Disposable Relationships

In the 1980’s and 90’s we have been through a major sociological shift in western nations. There has been a major attitudinal change - from enduring to disposable relationships. This paradigm shift has affected labour, sexuality, the family and the church.

Before this change corporate longevity was highly valued. Superannuation was a reward for long term loyal service. Icons like Sir Reginald Ansett were accorded tremendous staff loyalty. Experienced technical and professional people were the doyens of industry and often stayed with companies throughout their working life.

Then about the time of the “recession we had to have” (Paul Keating 1990), an industrial revolution took place. The battle to retain long term industrial relationships were fought out in massive industrial disputes in the airlines in the USA and Australia and in the print unions in the UK. The power of the unions was weakened through the use of short term labour contracts.

The norm for employers became: “I’ll hire you when I need you and get rid of you when I no longer want you”. The corresponding attitudes of employees became “I’ll work for you until I can find a better job”. Some employees were sacked and escorted off the site by security guards in short order after 20 years or more of loyal service.

These destabilising attitudes in turn affected the home. Unwanted husbands and wives were discarded. No one had ‘the answers’ any longer. We became the children of post-modernism. Society rejected Christian influence like other long term relationships. Most clergy didn’t understand what was overtaking them - but they felt the effects.

A tide of liberalism swept away traditional sexual values. Cohabitation was rapidly normalised in Australia: 2% in 1950, 29% in 1980 and 71% in 2000. Divorce skyrocketed. Vast numbers of children were losing relationships with their biological fathers.

Scoreboard

Some of the fruit of this post-modern and post-Christian revolution are now on the census scoreboard. How are we going?

Births outside marriage in Australia
1950 – 5%
1998 – 29%

Children in solo parent families
1989 – 12%
1999 – 20%

Divorce Predictions

37% of first marriages will end in divorce.
50% of second marriages will end in divorce.

Defacto Relationships

Failure rates:
25% within 1 year.
75% within 4 years.

Defacto couples who subsequently marry have a higher divorce rate than those who do not cohabit (called direct marriages):

After 5 years:
13% of defacto marriages fail.
6% of direct marriages fail.

After 20 years:
56% of defacto marriages fail.
29% of direct marriages fail.

Research Indications

1. defacto relationships compared with marriages are less committed, less stable, with more conflict and higher rates of breakdown;

2. two loving and competent parents enhance children’s well being.

Observations

‘Try before you buy’ and serial relationships have much higher failure rates than marriage, with the biggest victims being affected children.

The Biblical way given by God and rejected by our culture starts to look great:

May you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer -
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.

(Proverbs 5:18-19).

Personal Checkout

Where are you in this relationship revolution? How influenced are you by post-modern and post-Christian culture? Are you in for the long haul or defaulting to the modern trend of disposable relationships?

Article by Peter Kentley
May be reproduced providing credit and link to the author are provided.

Source of statistics:
The Melbourne Anglican
February 2004

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